Brightfire Woman ™

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Crotchety is a Tipping Point

old-lady-cane-drawingI don’t think I have ever had a harder time in my life with temperance.  Tempering my thoughts, words and actions is a big challenge.. I have a history of being too patient and understanding to the degree of being told I was excusing too much. I don’t know if it is an age thing or has to do with the duration of how long a person has held a belief or felt something to be right or true?  Am I becoming a crotchety old woman?  Or has time erased the middle ground, the shades of gray and I have become accustom to that absence?

 

I have always believed that dissatisfaction with self is necessary tipping point to change. You have to hit a certain level of discomfort to do something about it. I have arrived at extreme discomfort. I am trying to make the necessary shifts but not producing much effect beyond deepening my discomfort and feeling embarrassed by my own responses to the whole thing.

I question if I have become extreme, narrow minded, uncompromising?  Have I allowed the anger on line to make me an angry person?  Have I lost my capacity to hear to the wanting to be heard above the rants?  I don’t know.  I just know that whatever it is I am not happy about it… this is not how I want to be, because it is not who I have been.

I question if it is the results of world wide escalating injustices, corruptions and tragic consequences?   So little is reported when it is a known agenda or problem that could be brought to public attention.   I feel like we are deprived of the opportunity to take any actions that would prevent or lessen the negative impact.  Riots and protests and lawsuits get coverage, but what caused it was going on for a very long time without being brought to public attention.

What ever it is? I am stewing in it, knowing I can not change whatever it is that I have allowed to change me but I have to find a way to become right with myself.

 

 

 

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Letting The Day Guide Us

I do not wish to be confounded by wisdom or blinded by ignorance. We are living in times
of great environmental changes coinciding with the arrival of many of the
consequences and damages that the last fifty years of our industrialization and
materialism has produced.

No matter where we live our governments are not fully happy that we can see what they’re doing;
for the first time, we can go to other countries’ searches and use a translator
and know what is the rest of the story is out there…and judge for ourselves
what is going on and what we stand for and against.

For the first time, with the Internet, we have produced something that frees us and
lifts the boundaries and borders we are contained by, something that gives a
broad view of what is really going on in the world; what is the problem, the
debate, our actions and the world’s response. The political magicians have lost
their wands and we see the puppet’s strings. It is a free education for all and
the means to express yourself to a world public.

We are the enlightened result of our technologies and for once we really can speak to each
other and see that our differences are sometimes that we are not allowed the
freedom to be the same or to know know the same and understand the same. That
corruption in all governments hides behind the efforts of good
men.

We are capable of exchanging knowledge. Of cooling off the heated debates with answers
to questions that may have yet to be asked. Our social structure is not just the
cultural vertical, it spreads out horizontal and crosses oceans and plains and
deserts, no longer are we bound by our geography of waterways, mountains
too high and desert plains too wide to cross and survive.

These are the days when great things can be accomplished by simply beginning to do what we
can individually do to make a difference, to acknowledge so many of our choices
have been harmful to ourselves and others, as we begin to recognize the effects
those choices have had.

So many songs have not been heard, so many paintings have never been seen, so many
hearts have been lifted to a higher love for humanity, so many intellects have
been awakened to the call to speak the truths and see the solutions more
clearly, so much poetry and parable has not been shared. So many lives remain to
be spared. So many children to be raised. So any crops to be planted. So many
wounds to be healed.

So much love has been consumed by hate’s worst fears, when in the light of love and
justice there would be nothing to fear.

Sometimes you have to undo what went wrong, what has been done in ignorance that shouldn’t
have been done. Sometimes you have to chose between the lesser of two evils…
and without honesty? How can we chose wisely?

Couldn’t we start by looking past our own reflection on the water’s surface? Couldn’t we
could begin by diving into the depths of opposing views and by rocking the boat
by reading someone Else’s story or by really studying someone Else’s picture of
what is going on in their part of the world?

We have been given not enough truthful information about each other to know or hate one
another, can we not simply chose to hear one another out? What is the harm in
choosing to listen patiently? What if we chose to spread love not hate, to focus
on communication and understanding that every country is someone Else’s home and
livelihood?

My father, who had no sons, taught me that a man without his word was nothing and recently
at 87 he showed me that it does not matter what our minds can remember about
yesterday, as long as our hearts remember how to be kind and just in the stand
we make today.