Brightfire Woman ™

Create. Believe. Become.


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Safe Journey

On October 9th I edited out the following section from that day’s post titled, ” I’m molting…” At the time, I knew and was dreading what was coming, but I felt to say it publicly was too much. The depression hit the next day when I woke up to the first anniversary of my father’s death, October 10, 2014. However, since I posted I have seen that many people online are communicating about Depression and SAD, especially on Facebook. So I decided to go back and read what I had censored.

Every so often I have to ask my self what do I believe. What beliefs do I hold? Why do I still hold them? And what in the end how will I have evolved? So not only am I going through my clothes, and pitching the raggedy for moving, I am asking myself, ” Do I want to take this interest, attitude or belief with me into my new life?” Changing where and how you will live in the world, even from one home to another, starts this check list running.

I am going to have a great deal of solitude and time on my hands and arriving right when my depression starts seasonally. I had hoped to avoid it, but it is what it is. So being an old crone of a bipolar, I know that means I need it tidy and to stay out of bed.

I need to take my anti-depressants and to force myself to get cleaned up and dressed every morning. To have an established routine and some projects to get lost in.

My sleep, cadence, my internal clock will get completely out of whack. I need sunlight and exercise and a dark environment about 5 hours sooner than most, so I fall asleep at a normal time.

I will have memory loss, confusion, aches and pains. I will be standing in the middle of the room wondering where I was headed several times a day? I will have days where I will lose the battle and shut down for 3 or 4 days rising for only what is necessary. Pets. Children. Bathroom. In all my life I never not won the war against depression.

This last year has been full of grief, loss and crying jags. So I am trying to be settled and well prepared that this year might be rougher than most.

Old_guitarist_chicago

The Old Guitarist Picasso Chicago

I did not get any of that done. I am not in my home. I have several more things to file. I did not beat the clock I am depressed. And yes it is rougher than most years. Until I went back and re-read what I kept on file, I was feeling really disappointed and critical of myself and judgmental about what I have yet to accomplish.

I am glad I saved it, it is good stuff. And yes, I do see that I have made a lot of progress on what I believe and the attitudes I want to take with me. Perhaps even glimmers of what my work and new life might end up being about. I was smart enough to know what was coming and to leave myself a good check list. Always the girl scout, be prepared.

For all those swimming off shore  who are finding themselves once again in the deep, safe journey and may you find a way to make the most of it!.

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Gardeners and Gallery Owners

Friends and I have been having a discussion on Facebook about what constitutes fine art verses illustration. An artist was told by a gallery owner that some of her work was not Fine Art but Illustration and accepted what he felt was fine art and sent her out the door with her hand painted ink and water color originals. She was hurt and confused as to how that could be true of her original works of art, long story short it was, of course, not true.

 “Illustration is a unique art form that is defined not by its medium, but by its context. Illustration finds its home in the public sphere of popular media. With a rich history and a modern, contemporary outlook, illustration brings life to concepts and stories through image-making. Whether created digitally or by hand, an illustration can be both a masterful work of art and a practical business application.” http://www.uarts.edu/…/camd-cross-college…/illustration for a definition of Fine Art http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fine_art  In a nutshell from the dictionary “fine art noun
: a type of art (such as painting, sculpture, or music) that is done to create beautiful things
: an activity that requires skill and care”

Only the artist can decide such things. It is fine art if created for the purpose of beauty and expression and that fine art, if the artist so choses to lend the work to illustration, then it becomes a fine art illustration.

A gallery owner should be more like a gardener. A gardener does not worry about their mature plants, they focus on the young tender plants to see they take root and make it to maturity for all to enjoy. As an artist keep in mind it is the fruits of your labor that puts food on their table.


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Grandma's Webcam

I have to say I am overwhelmed, but having epiphanies, left and right, as the dots begin to connect…on all the various sites, it is like turning on all the lights and opportunities at once.  Today my grandson, Cameron posted his art to my Facebook and I in turn posted it on the Brightfire Woman pages. It was made on an app called Kaleidoscope and created using Kindle HD. It really made me proud for one and honored and inspired by how pretty it was. I am blessed in that bond we share. This is a webcam of him and I done when he was much younger that I took of us using a webcam set for distortion. I then used Photoshop Elements for the color effects. This is one I would like to try my hand at painting. What do you think? Is that a bond or what? You can see his art featured on my Brightfire Woman face book page.

 


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New Beginnings

 

It has been a very quiet day. I am enjoying my return to social net working. I am realizing that as an artist, perhaps just as a woman or maybe just a person, that I have made the becoming, much harder than it had to be, in feeling I had to do it all and alone. I did not integrate all of my life into my life as an artist and I have isolated myself in a creative vacuum, now all I can say is the world is much better when you actually try to stay in it. Family and long known friends have been wonderful and so supportive and seem not at all surprised that this is actually what I do. And I am meeting new people. It has created this lovely feeling of wholeness, giving my life this sense of continuation and ongoing. It feels good to realize all these compartments I divided myself and life into are not necessary. It feels very freeing to cross that threshold, less about integrating all the people and relationships and more about integrating one’s whole self together.

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