Brightfire Woman ™

Create. Believe. Become.

Brave and Bold

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Fresh starts are emotional. You have to let go of what was, to have room for what will be. I will be downsizing not only in what I have in the home I have lived in for 24 years, but in all the things in my mother’s home of 20 years, too. And I have to work in studio and work areas and storage that previously existed in neither of our homes.

My mother and i are a lot a like, so there is a great deal that is sentimental to me in both homes. I have my art set-up and her sewing stuff and all our camera stuff.

It is spiritually mind boggling this weighing of attachment/detachment. We all have this mental list of beliefs that fall under, ” If I had I would.”  Well I am about to have…will I? It is usually time, money, space. Some call them excuses, others call them reasons, but whatever you call them they are wove from the beliefs we hold about ourselves. They are personalized to our value systems and tangled in our self-esteem.

It is also very challenging in what currently feels like utter chaos, to try to create the order and organization.  I know I need multiple work surfaces that multi purpose.

I have to admit I have always struggled back and forth between wanting to be bold and brave and wanting my home to look like I imagine normal peoples’ homes to be like.  Having kids does that.

But I don’t have kids. I have grown children… that turned out passionate and creative. I have grandchildren that sculpt and paint and write. So I have concluded, they don’t struggle with it, so why should I?  Probably growing up raised by a 50’s wife and mother. Function is more important to me. And closeness to water. And lighting. And ventilation.

I have a bad habit of  doing everything in my bedroom, because privacy and solitude is important to clear thinking for me. I won’t have to do that, I will be able to privacy and solitude through out my home. I have a need for everything to have a place, because if not, I spend hours daily looking for things I can’t find. Short term memory is the first thing to go when I am stressed or depressed.

In essence I am creating a haven of healing and peace.  All the things I have come to know I need to function well enough to live alone with mental illness.

If you can relate to this or have any tips leave a comment. Tell me how you came to find a happy balance. How do you organize your interests in your home? Is your workspaces for your interests separate room(s) or main area?


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