Life sweeps a person away. I began a gear up return to posting and a big wave of life came in and swept me away. I had a neurologist tell me I couldn’t drive for almost 2 years. That makes going and doing art events a no go, and just about everything else. I lost both my parents this year and the grief has been overwhelming. I have spent the last 6 months with attorneys fighting to keep my mother’s home and that is about to wind down.
So in the next couple months I will be moving out solo and have the space to set up a studio for the first time in about 6 years. I have been working digitally since 2008, but that is just not quite the same feel or desire. You can plan and think you know when it is time to do something, but the reality is it will happen when it is best for you. And I can drive now and the grief has lessened. Seems the perfect point of healing to begin in a new yet familiar place.
I have not been alone since I gave birth. I lived in the same home, i raised my children in, for 24 years. I am family oriented and all my socialization has been with them and their friends for a very long time. I have kept my websites and social networks in place, it is all simmering on back burners. I did not intend to stay gone this long from living, but the reality is that is just how long it took.
i won’t be rushing. I have waited a life time for this moment. I am going to enjoy it. Savor and relish in forgotten freedoms. To tell you the truth I have waited so long, to live as an artist, I stopped expecting it would happen. In fact I think I had made peace with not being a great artist or even a good one. But now I am thinking heck I could live another 35 years, why not spend it doing what I enjoy doing? Besides I know all these amazing local artists who keep inviting me to events, so there should be plenty of support and inspiration.
I can’t even tell you what my work will look like. I am sure it will have a strong digital influence. I know I will be working in oils for my first time, as the materials have been bought and I am committed to learning something new. I think I will be doing a lot of combining and layering, that were not in my paintings before. Beyond that we will just have to see.
“Toto, I don’t think we are in Kansas anymore.”